As parents, we all want mealtimes to be a positive and enjoyable experience for our children. Unfortunately, for some children, mealtimes can cause anxiety and stress. If your child is an anxious eater, there are ways to support them in making mealtimes less stressful and more enjoyable.
Why are mealtimes important?
Mealtimes are about more than just food—they’re about connection. Family meals provide an opportunity to bond, share stories, create lasting memories, and foster a sense of togetherness and belonging. Mealtimes also play a crucial role in supporting children’s emotional development and building healthy eating habits. But for some children, mealtime anxiety can make this experience a lot more challenging. Understanding why mealtimes are important for emotional and social development can help you take the first step toward supporting your child.
How do I know if my child is an anxious eater?
Identifying an anxious eater requires understanding that mealtimes may make your child feel anxious or unsafe. At SPOT, we prefer the term “anxious eater” because it helps us recognize that the child is doing their best, but mealtimes can trigger feelings of anxiety.
Some characteristics of anxious eaters may include:
- Poor nutrition
- Highly stressful mealtimes
- Difficulty transitioning to mealtimes
- Being suspicious of changes
- Not enjoying mealtimes and a lack of motivation to eat
- Not feeling emotional or sensory safety
As a parent or caregiver, dealing with an anxious eater can be difficult. Mealtimes may become a source of stress, and eating out at restaurants may feel overwhelming. But it’s also important to recognize that children who are anxious eaters may feel they are letting you down if they can’t eat the food you offer. Showing empathy and understanding for your child’s challenges can help make
mealtimes easier for both of you.
How can I support my child with their mealtimes?
Supporting an anxious eater starts with creating a safe, predictable environment and giving your child some control over how much they eat. Here are some strategies to help your child navigate mealtimes with less anxiety:
- Let Your Child Decide How Much to Eat: It’s essential to give your child the autonomy to decide how much food they want to eat. As a parent, it’s your job to decide what food is offered and when it’s offered, but your child is responsible for deciding how much they eat.
- Create a Calm Mealtime Environment: Consider offering your child a visual schedule for meals so they know when to expect mealtimes. You could also provide a comfort item, such as a favourite stuffed animal or toy, to bring to the table to help them feel safer during meals.
- Practice Patience and Empathy: Recognise that mealtimes may be difficult for your child. By showing empathy and understanding, you can make mealtimes less stressful and create a more positive experience.
The Get Permission Approach
At SPOT, we follow The Get Permission Approach to provide evidence-based, neuro-affirming, and relationship-based support for anxious eaters. Developed by Marsha Dunn Klein, this approach emphasises collaboration with families and focuses on creating a safe and enjoyable eating environment for children.
The Get Permission Approach has the following ten principles:
- The Get Permission Approach is complicated and requires collaboration with team members including parents
- The Get Permission Approach acknowledges that children eat best when they feel well
- The Get Permission Approach acknowledges that feeding is a relationship
- The Get Permission Approach acknowledges that eating is built on a foundation of positive developmentally appropriate experiences
- The Get Permission Approach acknowledges parents and supports them to successfully feed their children
- The Get Permission Approach is based on what works with happy, self- directed eaters who enjoy eating, are confident in their eating skills and are internally motivated to eat enough
- In the Get Permission Approach, adults determine the direction and children determine the pace
- The Get Permission Approach is guided by a sensitive reading of the cues
- The Get Permission Approach celebrated mealtimes and a love of food
- The Get Permission Approach sees the therapist role as offering parents and children achievable and successful options
By implementing these principles, we work with parents and children to create mealtimes that are safe, enjoyable, and peaceful.
What mealtime services are available?
We offer:
- Assessment and Intervention for Anxious Eaters: We assess your child’s mealtime challenges and develop personalised strategies to address their needs.
- Parent Coaching and Training: We provide coaching and training to empower parents to support their child’s mealtime journey.
- Clinic-Based and Telehealth Sessions: Whether in person or online, we offer flexibility to meet your family’s needs.
It’s important to note that we do not provide services for children with dysphagia (swallowing difficulties) or children who are currently tube-fed. For these specialized needs, a feeding therapist who focuses on dysphagia may be more appropriate. We recommend Sound Bites Therapy Services at Burnside and Lively Eaters Feeding Services at Kensington for children with these challenges.
What to expect from mealtime services
Our mealtime services start with a parent phone call to discuss your concerns and gather information. Following that, we conduct a mealtime assessment with your child to identify specific challenges (this may consist of a parent interview, face to face assessment, and questionnaires). Our team of speech pathologists and occupational therapists will work with you to provide personalised strategies and interventions that support your child’s mealtime success. We’ll also offer practical strategies to use at home to ensure progress continues between sessions.
Mealtimes can be difficult for children who struggle with anxiety around food, but with the right support, they can be transformed into positive, enjoyable experiences. By implementing strategies that focus on empathy, autonomy, and safety, you can help your child overcome mealtime challenges and foster a healthy relationship with food.
If you’re concerned about your child’s mealtime struggles, or if you’d like more information about how we can support you and your family, feel free to reach out. We’re here to help create peace and enjoyment at the table!