Marsha Dunn Klein, who developed the Get Permission Approach to supporting children with feeding challenges talks about mealtimes being about more than just nourishment; they are moments for enjoyment, connection, and celebration. Parents and caregivers can cultivate positive associations with food and mealtimes for children by establishing a safe and welcoming environment.
Language is important
It is important to consider the language we use around mealtime challenges. For some children, mealtimes are hard, and we need to understand that the child is doing the best they can. As parents, mealtimes can also be challenging! Acknowledge that you are also doing the best that you can.
Be mindful of labelling children as ‘picky’, ‘fussy’ or ‘selective’ eaters – this indicates that the child is making a choice when potentially the child is feeling anxious or worried.
Equally, the way we talk about food is important. Avoid using terms such as ‘safe’ foods, as this may imply that foods that aren’t on the ‘safe’ list, are unsafe. We can use terms such as ‘preferred’ or ‘favoured’ foods.
Focus on connection
Mealtime routines
Consider inviting the child into the mealtime through mealtime jobs. This can be a great way to increase opportunity to interact with new and different foods, without the pressure or expectation of eating. This may include helping put food items in the trolley at the supermarket, helping unpack groceries, setting the table for mealtimes, or serving food for other family members. Mealtime jobs can help the child feel celebrated at mealtimes outside of what they are eating. Find out more about mealtime supports options for children
Let your child decide how much they are going to eat
It is the parent’s role to decide when and what type of food is offered, your child will decide if and how much they are going to eat and at what pace. Buffet or family style meals are a great opportunity to come together and share a meal. Encourage your child to serve their own preferred foods on their own plate, providing control over what they put on their plate while increasing exposure to other new or different foods.
Reduce pressure
Creating pressure may impact your child’s ability to recognise and respond to their own internal feelings of hunger and fullness. Pressure can also look like praise and rewards or external motivations. Instead, try offering encouragement and self-evaluation by asking the child “what did you think of that?” Children may feel more motivated to eat when they are able to listen to their own bodies.
WORDS BY: Carly Eggers, Speech Pathologist, SPOT Paediatrics
First published in Kiddo Mag on April 23, 2025